One day you open Facebook – and in shock you see:
Your ex-boyfriend has changed their relationship status to "in a relationship".
Your ex has a new one.
It feels like a stab in your heart, it just hurts.
And suddenly, there is so much pain in you again without you knowing where it is coming from. You think:
"Do I still love him? Am I jealous of her? How could he replace me so quickly? Didn't the breakup hurt him? Do I want my ex back? Does he love his new girl like me? Why does he have a new partner straight away?”
This guide aims to help you get clarity on all of these questions.
Also, I know the reasons why your ex has a new girlfriend immediately, and I have tips with a guide on how to act in that situation.
I can also tell you how you can win it back.
Why did your ex move on so fast?
You are probably wondering why your ex has a new girlfriend so fast. While you still need time to get over your relationship breakup and heal the pain, he seems to have gotten over it immediately.
Just being replaced like that can hurt even more. Here are the most important reasons and meanings behind his behavior:
1. He needs the distraction
When your ex has a new girlfriend, it may be primarily an attempt by him to forget your breakup with a new love interest. If he throws himself directly into a new relationship, he naturally thinks much less about the pain of separation.
Instead of processing the end of your relationship, he puts it aside with a comfortable relationship. I will explain the importance of rebound relationships below.
2. He feels alone
Another reason for this fast relationship is that it makes him feel less alone and gets more attention from the other partner. Every breakup leaves us with a great emptiness that our ex can fill again when he has a new one. Men have more difficulty being alone again after a relationship than women.
3. He wants to increase his self-esteem
If we find someone who wants to start a relationship with us straight away, it is even more self-affirmation. Which is why such a rebound relationship is created.
4. He is in a rebound relationship to get relief from the breakup pangs
These are often rebound relationships when we hop straight from one relationship to the next. As the above facts reveal, it is usually for the wrong reasons that your ex-boyfriend enters into a new relationship straight away.Instead of loving the new woman, he uses her to get over your breakup.
The result: Most of the time, these rebound relationships don't last very long. And you have a chance, with the right guidance and strategy, to win your ex back (more on that later).
My ex move on so fast - why am I feeling bad?
You might be surprised that you even care so much that your ex has a new girlfriend - and that you find yourself in this article. There are also very specific psychological reasons for this. If you want to know them, you should read here:
1. The last hope
Maybe you still hope to get back together someday. You don't even have to have feelings for him.
If your breakup is recent and not a year or years ago, you may find yourself in such a state of emotional turmoil that you don't even know exactly what you want. Nevertheless, a feeling of loss can hurt you a lot, especially if he has left you.
2. Wounded pride
Of course, it can also hurt your pride if your ex has moved so fast and replaced you with a new woman. This can make you feel like your relationship was nothing special and meaningless to him.
3. Still feelings
It can also be absolutely clear that you still have feelings for your ex. After all, you loved your ex-boyfriend, and feelings for someone don't go away overnight. Losing him to another woman he loves can then be particularly painful.
What should I do if my ex moved on immediately like I was nothing?
If your ex has a new girlfriend and you realize that something inside you is churning, you probably want to take the initiative and maybe even win him back.
In your situation, however, some things are particularly good for you now and at the same time behavior that can be very damaging to you and your relationship with your ex. Therefore, follow the following strategies and tips to better deal with the situation:
1. Stop contact and stay away
Important: Even though it contradicts what you would like to do now, I advise you to distance yourself from your ex-boyfriend immediately and don't try to contact him.
Just don't write him a message - even if he answers. Because the truth is there is nothing you can do right now that will bring him back to you. If you react incorrectly, you will drive him even further away from you.
Staying away and stopping contact is always the first right step you have to take. Because first, you have to become aware of your feelings and emotions for him to be able to fall out of love.
Read also: My Ex Blocked Me: What Should I Do?
2. Become aware of the separation
Remember your breakup. Your relationship is the story, even if it's hard to realize. There was also a reason why you broke up. It is therefore important that you constantly remember it to feel better.
3. Talk to friends and family
No one says you have to fight this battle alone. Talk to family and friends about how unwell you are. That it hurt you to see your ex has a new girl.
People who are close to you know immediately how to cheer you up. Just meeting up with your best friend can be of great help.
4. Reflect on your feelings
As a test, ask yourself: Why am I still so interested in him and his relationship status? Haven't I gotten over the breakup yet? Is my pride hurt? Or do I still love him?
We often want what we can't have. Therefore, it can also be that he is only interested in you again because another woman left him. Therefore, first, gain absolute clarity for yourself.
5. Look ahead
The past is past. The only thing you can do now is looking ahead. Reminiscing over and over again only hurts you more. Let go, even if you don't necessarily want to, and it doesn't work overnight.
6. Focus on you
After a breakup, many women initially focus 100% on themselves. Externally and internally, they make changes and develop further. First of all, this distracts them from the separation and also increases their self-esteem extremely. Do everything you didn't dare or couldn't do in the relationship.
7. Recognize your uniqueness
We are all unique and have different characteristics. Surely your ex's new girlfriend will bring qualities that he appreciates.
But you also have qualities that his new girl doesn't have. Realize that you are unique and he can never replace you with a new woman.
8. Accept the separation
Of course, accepting the end of the relationship is also part of it. Which is sometimes quite difficult to do.
Accept that your time together has ended, that you are separated, and that you both need to take a different path. Blocking contact with your ex-boyfriend can also help here.
9. Allow grief
A breakup always means heartbreak — and sometimes it lasts longer than we thought it would. So allow yourself to be sad. If your ex has a new girlfriend, and it brings all of your negative feelings back up, that's perfectly fine.
10. Get happy
Life is too short to be unhappy - even if you feel abandoned. Take the time you need and then do all the things that are good for you, that make you happy.
Avoid these mistakes after your ex moved on so fast
At the same time, there are some mistakes that you should not make. Because these lead to you feeling bad again and also to the fact that they do not put you in a good light with your ex-boyfriend, so follow these tips:
1. Reacting with jealousy
2. Wallow in self-pity
The big ice cream sundae, snuggle blanket, and the most kitschy love movies are often the best companions for women dealing with a breakup. That may be okay at the beginning. But then this will end at some point.
The more you sink into self-pity, the harder it is for you to regain control of your life and prepare for the next man.
3. Talking bad about the ex or new people
The gossip about the new girl or the ex also hurts you more than it helps you. It's almost common among girlfriends to badmouth your new partner and your ex. But what exactly does that get you?
Instead of gaining emotional distance, you're just more caught up in your negative thoughts and haven't taken a step forward.
4. Interfere
Nor should you interfere in your ex's new relationship. If you are still in regular contact, then don't say a word about the new girlfriend or his relationship. You should never send him a message like "Are you sure that she's the right one for you?" or "How's your new girlfriend?"
5. Comparing you to her
As already mentioned, each of us is unique. So comparing yourself to her is absolute nonsense and will only lead to you diminishing your worth and lowering your self-esteem. Realize that thousands of men would want to meet you immediately.
6. To run after
Men find women who are needy and chasing after them far from sexy and attractive. Therefore, this is also a bad idea, and you should not react that way.
7. What if…
Don't ask yourself what would happen if you were still together or if you were still in touch. What could have been doesn't matter and causes even more pain. Concentrate on the here and now.
8. Stalking her
Also popular with women: Stalking the ex's new girlfriend jointly with friends. However, this only makes it harder for you to distance yourself emotionally. And still attaches too much importance to it.
I know you like to search for her on all social networks. However, jealousy can quickly arise, which fuels your lovesickness even further.
9. Also, falling into a relationship
Just because your ex has a new girlfriend doesn't mean you should immediately start looking for a new relationship to feel better about yourself. As already mentioned, rebound relationships do not last long. So give yourself time and work towards a new, happy partnership.Does your relationship still have a chance even if your ex moves on quickly?
You may be wondering if your ex has a new girlfriend and you still have feelings for him, if your love still has a chance. I also have answers for you to this question:
If he still loves you and his new girlfriend is just a rebound relationship, then you have a good chance of getting him back.
Because then his relationship with her is just a distraction from the pain your breakup caused. And, likely, your ex won't stay with her for long.
Nevertheless, he may be also in an infatuation phase with his new girlfriend, as we experience with new relationships. This usually lasts about three months.
Then you have to wait until the infatuation phase is over to approach you again with the right tactics.
He has a new girlfriend and is happy
If he thinks your breakup is the right decision and is very happy with his new girlfriend, then there are fewer chances that he will leave her and come back to you.
That doesn't mean there's no way he'll come back to you or that you can win him back. Nevertheless, you should be prepared for the fact you will not have any closer contact because of his new relationship.
Have faith
Finally, I advise you to have faith in yourself and your future. If it turns out that you and your ex aren't getting back together or things aren't going the way they should, trust that another man is waiting for you and new happiness awaits you.