When Mr. Right then also mentions his wife or girlfriend in the course of the conversation, you suddenly realize what was already clear:
You have fallen unhappily in love with a taken or even married man!
Regardless of whether you happened to meet in the bar in the evening, know each other through friends, or our colleagues at work: Love like this always hits women hard like lightning.
Because of course, the situation is extremely complicated, especially if he already has children or you are also married.
Two souls are currently beating in your chest:
On the one hand, you are heartbroken and you want nothing more than to be with this dream man. And maybe you are already in the middle of a wild affair as his lover...
On the other hand, you also have a bad conscience, because you don't want to get him into trouble or destroy a happy marriage or family.
What an ugly dilemma!
But I want to help you.
Of course, I don't have a patent recipe for solving this whole problem either...
...but in my article, I would like to give you a few tips on what to look out for in this delicate situation and what you need to consider. In the end, you can make a good decision if you know what is best for everyone involved.
Why would a woman love a married man?
In the whole emotional chaos, you may sometimes get angry with yourself and think:
"Help, how could I be so naive and fall in love with a taken man? I ran into misfortune with my eyes wide open!”
I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
Because maybe fate will have mercy, and you will always be a happy couple. The hope is quite justified depending on the specific situation.
In addition, it can happen very quickly that a woman falls in love with a married man. This has nothing to do with a lack of "mental maturity" or self-control, but is simply based on human biology:
He seems to be the perfect family man
From around the age of 30, the famous “biological clock” in women begins to tick louder. The desire to find a loving and caring partner to start a family is growing.And then you suddenly get to know HIM, the married man.
This likable guy fits perfectly into the prey scheme for a future together, after all, he proves with his married life that he has a strong sense of family and takes good care of his loved ones.
If he also has happy children, he also seems to be a really good father … that is attractive to any woman who wants to have a family. A dream prince to melt in and fall in love with!
Tested by the woman - and approved
In addition, men who are also liked by other women are particularly attractive. And HE seems to be such a proven guy when it comes to starting a family that this one even married him for it!His marriage is like a huge "seal of approval" that sticks on his forehead: " Look, ladies, this is the perfect partner for life! "
Then it can happen all too easily that you fall in love with a married man.
The allure of the unattainable
Another reason for the attractiveness of taken men: Compared to all the singles, they are difficult to get and therefore an exciting challenge.That sounds contradictory, but it can also be explained with human psychology:
Things that we can have immediately without any problems and without having to fight for them quickly lose their appeal for us humans. This also applies to love when choosing a partner.
However, if the man seems almost unreachable due to his marital situation, he becomes all the more interesting and awakens the desire in many a woman to win him over.
This unavailability is also reinforced by his behavior: Unlike the single men, he doesn't run after you all the time, but seems to be at peace and occasionally gives you the cold shoulder.
It's pretty exciting - and just unlike all those needy guys sliding down their slimy track!
He has his life firmly under control
How many times have you met shady guys who are late for dates, have debts and are unemployed, or have other problems?The married man you are in love with is completely different:
He has a good job that allows him to support his family and a large apartment. He is eloquent and confident, generously invites the neighbors to barbecues, and gets the kids to school on time every morning.
Maybe he already has gray hair, which also visually underlines his maturity.
Sure, every woman wants a reliable partner who has achieved something and is full of life. No wonder women's hearts beat faster here!
What should I do if I am in love with a married man?
For this to happen, certain conditions must be met:
First, he needs to have genuine feelings for you as well, rather than just seeing you as a lover offering a break from the matrimonial routine and some fun in a torrid affair.
And even if he feels more for you, the next step is for him to be willing to leave his wife for you. In doing so, he would be leaving behind much that he had laboriously built up – not only material things such as a house and garden but possibly also a family with children or a circle of friends.
Under no circumstances should you interfere if you see signs that his marriage is happy or he doesn't want to break up. With ill-considered actions, you not only bring chaos into his life but also into that of his wife and the entire family.
But everything is in order!
In this article, let’s sort through the questions and thoughts in this tricky situation – and take a step-by-step look at what you should do:
Confessing love to the taken man?
Maybe you are still secretly in love with the man you have taken and he doesn't know anything about his happiness. Or you're already having an affair and he has no idea that you have feelings involved in this casual bed affair.
In this situation you ask yourself:
Should I tell him? confess love to him? And what can the declaration of love to the married man look like?
The following applies here: Silence is golden - keep the matter to yourself!
If he hasn't suspected anything about your infatuation, he will be flabbergasted if you suddenly confess. Above all, he will feel massive pressure because he thinks:
"Oh, she sure wants to be with me as the new dream couple and now she expects me to make a decision and separate from my wife for her!"
He will also fear that you are becoming increasingly clingy and want more and more attention from him because of your feelings. This makes him afraid of getting into serious trouble if he imagines his wife accidentally reading one of your many WhatsApp messages or you suddenly appear in front of his house.
All of this puts a lot of stress on the man, which causes him to distance himself from you. With an open confession of love, you achieve exactly the opposite of what you want.
If, as a married man, he's ready for a relationship with you, you'll have to flirt with him more subtly to make him realize that you're interested.
How are you REALLY feeling?
It's a somewhat provocative question, but I would like to ask you: Are you honestly in love with this married man? Is he the absolute Mr. Right, the dream man for life?
And is it worth all this stress that threatens to come your way like dark thunderclouds on the horizon?
Now that sounds weird, I know!
But sometimes our emotions play tricks on us and we make a giant elephant out of a mosquito because we mistake a mild crush for love.
Maybe it's not his character at all, but that's why you swarm for him...
- ...because you have been looking for a lonely single for a long time, and you long for a partner by your side so that you are no longer so alone.
- ...because things aren't going so well in your relationship, and the romantic prince Charming has what your partner can no longer offer you.
- ...because, as described above, as a married man, he is simply attractive with his strong sense of family, his self-confidence, and his maturity.
So make yourself aware of whether it's real love or just a longing crush before you dare to approach him and possibly throw him into chaos with you!
Is the married man in love with you too? The signs
First, you have to be clear about whether you would have any chances with him at all.
The first step should therefore be to find out how he feels about you and how he feels about the two of you. The first question that arises here is: Can a married man truly love another woman? How do you know if a married man loves you?
Please never confront him with direct questions like: " What is it between the two of us? Never say that to him, even if you want to know!
Here your loved one smells the roast very quickly and knows immediately that you want more, which is tantamount to a confession of love.
Signs that a married man is deeply interested - or even in love with you
Instead of discussing your relationship, pay attention to his words and male body language to find out if a married man is in love with you.
If he has not yet made you a clear declaration of love, you can recognize his feelings for you by the following signals:
- He gives you compliments on your character that he doesn't give to his wife, for example: "I can talk and laugh with you for hours, I can't do that anymore with my wife!"
- He looks you long and deep in the eyes while you talk to each other.
- He texts you all the time on WhatsApp on all sorts of personal topics (not just sexual things).
- He confides in you and pours his heart out to you, including about problems in his marriage.
- He reveals to you that he is looking for a new girl (or at least subconsciously exudes this attitude).
- He flirts with you. He tries to impress you and make you laugh.
- He takes off his wedding ring in your presence because he has a bad conscience toward his wife.
- He's visibly nervous around you, although he's not usually shy, actually very self-confident.
- He always wants to meet you, spend time together, and do things with you - even outside of bed.
- He shows jealousy when you're talking to other guys (or jealous of your boyfriend or husband if you're dating yourself).
- He talks about a future together with you or hints at something nebulous.
However, you should take many of its signals with caution. Because out of sheer wishful thinking, people in love often tend to interpret too much into the words and gestures of the other person.
It is important to be careful with these signs!
Just because he's flirting with you doesn't mean anything. Maybe he just wants to test his market value after many years of marriage to get some self-affirmation for his ego. Or he just enjoys cooing because it gives him some variety in the gray everyday life.
It is also possible that, despite clear signs, he does not feel love, but only feels a purely sexual interest in you and would like to make you his affair when flirting.
Would he leave his wife for you?
Even if the guy shows some interest in you, that doesn't mean he's throwing his marriage away completely. Sure, right?
If you are in love with the man you have taken, you ask yourself the question: when do married men separate? And what are the signs that HE is leaving his wife - or at least is ready for this step?
Of course, if he is more or less happy in his marriage, the chances are slim that he will give it all up and leave his partner for you.
Things are different when the house blessing goes wrong. Then it may well be that in the course of the near future, a "door" towards a relationship will open for you.
Find out how his marriage is doing!
You don't know how his relationship is going because Mr. Silence doesn't talk openly about any problems?
Then you should help out and steer your conversation in this direction very unobtrusively. Just ask him how he spends his free time and what he does daily.
By answering such banal questions, he will automatically start talking about his partnership at some point - or at least you can hear between the lines what the relationship between the two spouses is like.
For example, does he keep saying that he's out with buddies at the weekend and doesn't show up at his wife's? Or that she is often alone on vacation? These are hidden signs that should make you sit up and take notice.
But does he rave about his partner and praise her to the skies because he loves her? Everything seems perfect, and they are the dream couple par excellence.
Then you should urgently keep your hands off him, even if you are in love with the married man.
Most likely, he has no deeper interest in you because he gets everything he needs in his current relationship. And you don't want to be responsible for a happy relationship shattering into a thousand pieces, do you?
Does the man have the courage to leave his wife?
But the truth is that even if he's unhappy in his marriage and has been sleeping on the couch for weeks, that doesn't mean he's going to break up with his partner any time soon to start over with you (although he maybe even loves you).
After all, something like this is a big step that turns your entire life upside down.
Unfortunately, many married men do not dare to make a clear decision and come clean. Especially not when they have built up a lot and one or more children are also involved.
For the sake of convenience, they prefer to start a sex affair and drive on two tracks to avoid making the big decision.
If the guy's personality is already insecure, anxious, and not very decisive, you can assume that he won't go a clear way when it comes to partnership either.
If you are also married or in a relationship...
And what about you if you are still in a relationship or even married?
Would you be willing to give it all up and break up with your current boyfriend or spouse? How happy are you with him right now? Does he still really love you? And is this new guy you feel something like love for really worth the breakup?
If you are in love with a married man and at the same time you are in steady hands yourself, you should also give this a lot of thought.
Because as I said above: Maybe your feelings are playing tricks on you and this infatuation is just a crush. Or the supposed Mr. Right turns out not to be Prince Charming, but just another frog as soon as you take off your rose-colored glasses.
If that is the case, you would have jeopardized your marriage completely unnecessarily!
Winning the man you've been given: That's how it works!
Suppose this married man shows some interest in you and would be perfectly willing to leave his wife. Now how can you make the taken man fall in love and win him over so that you become a couple?
Under no circumstances should you pressure him into breaking up with his partner or plotting to break them up.
Such behavior certainly doesn't reflect well on you and you'd be through with him very quickly.
My tip: Charmingly flirt with him and give him a positive feeling! You can do that by giving him everything he doesn't get (anymore) in his marriage.
Of course, I don't just mean sex, but also other things that he sorely misses in his wife's everyday life. If their relationship is that bad, there might be some things you can do to drive him crazy in a positive way.
Do you notice, for example, that his wife or girlfriend is not very adventurous and sporty, but he is a passionate hiker as a hobby? Then suggest a romantic hike as a date, followed by a meal in a restaurant.
If he is your work colleague, you can also bring him a piece of your wonderful home-baked apple pie for the lunch break.
But the rule still applies: If you notice that he is uncomfortable with your advances and does not respond to the flirt, you should keep your hands off him.
Surely you don't want to be seen as the beast trying to steal the man from his partner and thereby ruining a marriage!
Having an affair with a married man?
Of course, despite your best efforts to flirt, he may not want a serious relationship, or other difficult circumstances may prevent you from getting together as a couple.
Maybe you're just a welcome change in bed for him, or he just doesn't have the guts to break up with his partner, even though the marriage is only one big shambles.
Many women think in such a situation: " If I can't have him all to myself, then I want to have him at least 10 percent... "
This "better than nothing" attitude is the reason why many a woman ends up in an affair against her will when she is in love with a married man.
However, I can only advise against such a pure bed story if you feel love for this guy.
It simply has no future.
Even if the sex is good: the closeness to him will torment you in the long run and only make the lovesickness worse. Because you will never really be part of his life, but only his secret lover, his "little secret".
All the things you want a partner to do together - like weekend trips, vacations, and birthday parties - he will continue to do with his wife.
Playing second fiddle in your life as an affair will make you pretty unhappy in the long run - unless you're just looking for a pure bed story and can perfectly arrange yourself with the role of the hourly lover.
How can you forget the married man?
You are really in love with this man, but a permanent partnership is not possible? Then I advise you, as I said, NOT to get involved in an affair - no matter how strong the temptation may be.Instead, you should distance yourself and "fall out of love" with this person, as painful as the feeling is.
With the right approach, you will certainly cope well with the individual lovesickness phases, especially since time heals your wounds.
4 things, in particular, have proven helpful when dealing with grief:
- Cut off all contact with him for the time being, and never get involved in an affair as his mistress or in a platonic friendship. Closeness is pure poison in your emotionally difficult situation. If he is your work colleague, reduce contact to the professionally necessary minimum without appearing rude.
- Talk to good friends about unhappy love. If you can pour out your heart to them, it's not just consolation. It also helps to get up again, recharge your batteries, and stop seeing the world so black.
- Distract yourself by doing all the things that are good for you. This can be weekend trips with friends, sports, watching a nice romantic film, or an extensive wellness day to relax.
- Mingle with the crowd or explore online dating. Here you will quickly meet attractive single men with whom you can fall in love again. Through this, you will see that there is not just "the one".
If you are sociable and go through the world with open eyes, you will soon meet another exciting guy. If fortunately, he is still single and NOT married, you will have one less thing to worry about when flirting in the future!