Has the relationship between you and your ex ended, yet you still miss them and wonder "Should I unblock my ex?".
Not such an easy question. Because the whole emotional chaos of longing, the need to talk, and fear of loss is raging inside you, which makes it incredibly difficult for you to make the right decision at the right time for the planned "radio silence".
For that, in this article, I'll help you with my tips so that you can find out if you should unblock your ex and the right time for that.
Should I unblock my ex?
There is no definitive answer, as it largely depends on your relationship with your ex and whether or not you feel that blocking them is necessary for your well-being. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide whether or not unblocking them is the best course of action for you.
However, to make the right decision, you can simply take the following 10 factors and tips into account when planning:
1. How bad was the breakup?
Were there arguments, tears, and doors slamming when the relationship ended?
Did your ex maybe cry at the end and say you should leave them alone for a while?
If there was a lot of drama involved, you should not unblock your ex until after a long period that could be more than three to six months.
Reason: The mutual emotional injuries are deep, and take a few weeks more time to heal.
Everyone now needs distance from the other to lick their proverbial wounds, get over the pain of separation, and be able to forgive the other.
On the other hand, if the separation was rather calm, orderly, and amicable, you can unblock your ex and start contacting them.
2. What were the reasons for your separation?
Just as important is the reason for your breakup.
Was the trigger a severe breach of trust and very hurtful behavior, such as cheating?
Then the emotional wounds take longer to heal. And of course, it takes even longer before you can forgive your ex for the grave mistakes they made.
Here, the decision to unblock your ex may require careful thinking, and of course, this is up to you, are you ready to forgive them or not?
The same applies, by the way, if you have grown apart in your relationship or a lack of love was the reason for the separation.
In these cases, it takes longer for your ex to start missing you and for the fire of longing to be rekindled!
3. Which one of you is to blame that it's over?
Also, whether or not you should unblock your ex depends on who is to blame for the separation. If this is your fault, it may be a good idea to unblock your ex as an early step.
After all, you have a lot to explain and make up for in terms of your relationship...you owe it!
If the radio silence is too long, there is also a great danger that your ex will finally break up with you because they are constantly angry with you, and you miss the opportune moment for reconciliation.
On the other hand, if your ex is to blame for the breakup, you should give yourself more time to think (and maybe even let them contact you).
Let your ex “stew” a bit!
After all, it shouldn't look like you're still chasing them despite the misbehavior. Don't make yourself too small in front of others, and be valuable to yourself!
4. How long have you been together as a couple?
Just a few weeks? Or months, or even years...?
The rule of thumb applies that the longer you are in a relationship, the more you should wait for a long time before thinking about unblocking your ex, of course, this is if the reasons for the breakup are acceptable.
Why? There are three simple reasons for this:
- Psychological experience has shown that with a longer relationship, it takes even longer until the ex feels like they are missing and they want the other back.
- At the same time, this phase of missing lasts longer, so you run less risk of missing the right time to make contact.
- And thirdly, it is of course also the case that as an abandoned man or woman after a long relationship, you need even more time alone until you get over the separation and have rearranged your life.
5. How happy were you in your relationship?
Whether you should unblock your ex or not, also depends on the quality of your relationship, especially in the final phase.
Were you happy almost to the end, and did they really feel that way? It has to be faster for your ex to start missing you because he still loves you.
On the other hand, if the "internal breakup" occurred a long time ago, it makes sense to wait a little longer before making contact.
6. How many mistakes did your ex make after the breakup?
After separation, we abandoned people sink into a chaos of longing, sadness, anger, and pain.We can often no longer think clearly because of lovesickness, so the horses run away with us, and we make many mistakes with our ex:
We send thousands of messages apologizing, begging for a second chance, asking to meet up to clarify, etc.
This does not only apply to women but also to men who want to get back their ex-girlfriends.
But it is also clear that the more clingy we are after a breakup, the more annoyed the ex is - and the less attractive we become as a partner for a possible renewal of the relationship.
Therefore, in such a case, you have to counteract it all the more consistently with a change in behavior by withdrawing for a longer period. That means:
The more mistakes they have allowed themselves to make after the breakup, the longer the duration of the contact blocking should be. Because it just takes so much longer with this misconduct until you forgive them, perceive your ex as an attractive personality again, and begin to miss them.
7. How much contact do you have at the moment?
After the breakup, do you still check in with each other? Do you text each other regularly, or do you even see each other more often in everyday life?
This may seem illogical, but sometimes it happens that if you partially blocked your ex, he may remain in contact with you, and therefore blocking or unblocking your ex on everything is linked to his behavior after the breakup.
In turn, the more intense and frequent the communication between you, the faster you will have to make a decision to clear things up.
Of course, frequent contact also comes about if you run into each other a lot in everyday life (because of groups of friends, common workplace, etc.)
These cases are typical, as it would be better for you to unblock your ex because the contact restriction has no direct benefit as long as you are still in contact with them, either in public places or on some other social media. This is, of course, the case if you think that the reasons for the separation are simple and can be overcome.
8. How does your ex behave after the breakup?
Is your ex showing positive signs of interest in a new relationship? Do they still follow your activities on social networks (Facebook, Instagram, etc.) from other accounts or even try to contact you with hints of infatuation?
This can be a good sign that your ex already feels longing, still feels great love, and misses you.
In this case, you can consider unblocking your ex, as it fulfills its purpose relatively early. Winning your ex back will then be all the easier.
But it can also happen that your ex behaves negatively: accusations, insults, talking behind your back, or even blocking on various channels.
Or that the personal dealings between you are disastrous on both sides...
In such cases, you must wait until your ex changes their inappropriate behavior towards you and they apologize and behaves ethically again. After that, you can consider removing them from the blocked list and forgiving each other.
9. Is your ex in a new relationship?
Does your ex-girlfriend have a new boyfriend? Or you are a woman, and your ex has found a new girl?
Then you should first sit still and do nothing, no matter how difficult it is for you.
In most cases, it is (only) a so-called rebound relationship, with which the other person wants to console themselves about the separation from you because they still love you.
Such relationships often do not last long because they are hasty, unthoughtful, and have no real basis for a longer-term future.
Nevertheless, you have to wait until the gray everyday life has returned to the two newly-in-love lovebirds. Eventually, they might get so annoyed with each other that your ex will start missing you and want you back.
If your ex moved on so fast and has a new one, don't even think about unblocking them, at least, until the two get carried away and start arguing (or at least breaking up).
10. How long do you need after the breakup?
When developing an ex-back strategy, you should not only stare at your ex like a rabbit at a snake but also listen to your feelings!
After all, the decision to unblock your ex also depends on how quickly YOU are ready for a new beginning.
That means:
How many weeks do you need in the separation phase to overcome the lovesickness, forgive the other, and treat everything until you can get involved with them again?
How quickly can you get your life back under control?
And how quickly can you develop into an attractive partner again if you use the contact restriction phase to work on your personality as a man or woman?
In any case, you should only unblock your ex again when you are emotionally ready to take this step!
Otherwise, you may torment yourself unnecessarily with your lovesickness, or your relationship problems start all over again so that the other person doesn't want you back after all.
When should I unblock my ex?
If you decide to unblock your ex, the most important thing now is to find exactly the ideal time to do it. Because otherwise, I see two dangers for you and your relationship:
How long do you keep your ex on the block list? 2 risks!
Risk 1: Waiting too short
The lovesickness has been gnawing at you very painfully since they broke up.
Of course, you miss your ex terribly and can hardly handle the situation. Your fingers are itching to hit the unblock button and text them again...
But if you're too impatient and unblock them too soon, your ex won't feel like they miss you.
Also, it could be that anger, breakup pain, and other negative feelings are just too fresh. Because you're not giving the two of you the time to distance yourself, forgive each other, and get over the breakup.
As a consequence, this would mean that your ex does not answer at all and continues to withdraw. Or you get back in touch, but the argument continues where you left off recently.
Risk 2: Waiting too long
On the other hand, the terrible fear grows in you that your ex could lose interest in a renewed relationship with you if contact is blocked for too long. Also, they may think you are no longer interested because of your "absolute silence".
This concern is justified.
Because if the radio silence lasts too long, your ex may get used to your absence and finally breaks up with you. The feeling of love could disappear entirely over time until the other person completely forgets about you.
Or even worse: Your ex has found someone new for a new relationship in which they will be happy!
To minimize the risks, you should find a healthy middle ground between "too short" and "too long" when it comes to when you should unblock your ex.
This is the only way you can contact your ex in the right emotional state to win them back with the highest probability of success.
The best time to unblock your ex
Okay, now you know that the time of the distance can neither be too short nor too long. But how long should you wait to unblock your ex after the breakup before you get in touch with the other person?
You probably want to hear a number from me right now.
Of course, I cannot give you a specific number of days, weeks, or months in this blog article because It can be very different depending on the situation. After all, every person is an individual, and every relationship (including the breakup) is different.
As a rule of thumb, however, I would like to recommend the following procedure to determine the right time to unblock your ex:
- Start with an average of 30 days as a starting point.
- Then you go through the 10 factors mentioned above individually and compare them with your situation. In this way, you can see precisely what will lengthen and what will shorten your blocking of contacts in your case.
- For certain circumstances that lead to an extension, you add time to the contact block.
- For all favorable factors that allow a reduction, you deduct time again.
- In this way, you can weigh up how long the contact restriction should last (but it shouldn’t be more than 3 months in extreme cases If you decide to unblock your ex!).
I hope this will help you.
Don't rely on pure numbers for such tips because love is not mathematics and cannot be calculated using a formula! After all, it's all about emotions...
So let your gut feeling flow into it.
Conclusion
To find out whether you should unblock your ex or not, you must first ask yourself some questions about the reason for the separation and how the relationship was.
Are you sure that you were wrong and did not give your ex the necessary attention and that you should have acted more soberly and wisely at the time? In this case, unblocking them will be the best and most appropriate option for you.
If your ex was the reason for the breakup and he didn't give you mutual love, there is no need to unlock them, and it would be better to start a new relationship with someone else or wait until he changes his behavior and apologizes. Don't forget to keep in mind choosing the right time to do this before it's not too late.
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