Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me? (7 Reasons Explored)

Why is my ex ignoring me? And what should I do until they respond to my messages? If your ex is ignoring you right now, then this guide is for you.

I'll show you 7 possible reasons behind the question "Why is my ex ignoring me completely" and what you need to do to get your ex back into your life anyway.

And at the end of this guide, I'll give you a detailed plan on how to get back to your ex and win them back after all!

So, let's go…

Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me? (7 Reasons Explored)

Is your ex really ignoring you?

When it comes to winning an ex back, most of the time mind is out of control.

And if your ex suddenly doesn't write back just 1 or 2x, you usually turn in the direction of: "Oh god, why my ex is ignoring me!"

But maybe your ex is also very busy at work or is going on a trip where the reception is bad.

(since you are separated, your ex is not obliged to tell you they are unavailable for a month!)

Rule out these reasons before you draw the wrong conclusions!

Maybe your messages got a bit boring too. But if you are sure: "Yes, I texted many times on Facebook and WhatsApp, and my ex hardly ever replies to me", so this means that your ex is ignoring you on purpose!

Overview: Possible reasons why your ex ignores you

When your ex ignores you, you inevitably start assuming the worst. You may be thinking your ex...
  • is in a new relationship or newly in love with someone else
  • who hates you and never wants anything to do with you again.
  • forgot about you and ended the relationship once and for all.
  • has blocked you.
One always likes to relate that to oneself. Typical questions to ask yourself are: “Did I do something wrong? Am I to blame for my ex ignoring me?

(then your thoughts continue, and you become sadder and sadder yourself because all chances of winning the ex back are gone...)


If your ex ignores you, it doesn't automatically mean that these reasons apply.

Nevertheless, you ask yourself how to proceed most effectively, because you want your ex back.

For you to be able to proceed correctly, you must first understand why your ex is ignoring you in the first place. Based on this, you can then plan your strategy with the help of this guide.

So let's go through the main reasons:

Reason #1: Your ex still has feelings for you

This is the best situation for you. Feelings are still there, you just have to arouse them again and redirect them to you.

Even if your ex has broken up, it can happen that they still have feelings for you and think about you.

In particular, if you had an intimate and close relationship, the feelings are not suddenly gone with the separation.

You can't forget someone or lose love from one day to the next.

Regular contact hurts too much, and that's why you don't get in touch anymore. Simply out of the principle: "Out of sight, out of mind."

Your ex still has feelings for you

So your ex builds an emotional barrier. This is simply self-protection to avoid the pain.

Does this reason apply to you?

Your ex may still have feelings for you if the separation was highly emotional, but few angry words were spoken.

Maybe you both cried also (especially your ex).

Another indication is if your ex has said they are confused about their feelings.

How to do it

If you have been contacting your ex several times, then stop doing so immediately. With every message you write, your ex will withdraw further in self-protection and continue to build the emotional barrier.

Because more often than not, you end up in a vicious circle: your ex ignores you, and you text more until you've driven your ex so far away that it's practically impossible to get back together.


Give your ex time. Do not write any more messages and go into contact blocking.

In this context, you often want to be in touch again, but your ex is not ready for it yet. Again, it's best to wait and see.

When your ex is ready, they will contact you again. Either directly by phone or indirectly, for example, by your ex starting to comment on pictures of you on Facebook or Instagram.

Reason #2: Your ex is in a new relationship

This happens often and is considered a scenario of horror.

Your ex is in a new relationship

Let me tell you

Even if your ex moved on so fast and has taken refuge in a new relationship (known as a rebound relationship), you can still win them back.


Because these rebound relationships generally don't last long.

On the one hand, your ex might even love this new person – at least they will think so.

But in many cases, this phase of falling in love is over relatively quickly. Then comes everyday life, and you no longer see everything through rose-colored glasses.

Reason #3: Your ex thinks you've gone insane

This is perhaps the reason that occurs most frequently.

Your ex might also ignore you because you got too emotional after the breakup or terrorized them with texts or calls.

So it's only too logical for your ex to think: "Now I'm glad I don't have to talk to him/her anymore like I used to."

But how does it happen that you are too needy after the breakup?

The heart screams at you: "DO SOMETHING NOW, otherwise it's over forever!" and the mind is signed off. The result: you usually do a lot of nonsense.

For example, one silly thing to do is text or call your ex all the time:

You always text them

If you do this, in most cases, you will automatically get stuck in the spam filter of your ex.

Especially after the breakup, when your ex doesn't want to talk to you too much anyway, then countless messages from you are extremely annoying.

Of course, this also applies to calls:

When your ex sees that they have 17 missed calls from you, they will probably decide that you might have a screw loose.

Or excessive interaction with your ex's Facebook profile, such as constantly commenting or liking the photos and posts.

Here's how to do it right

If you are an SMS spammer, then you need to stop. Best NOW!

Yes, texting is a great way to revive feelings again. But then please do it right!

A typical conversation should look like this:
Ideal communication

Expressing emotions in public

Another reason your ex thinks you've gone crazy could be because you keep posting sad status updates.

Or sad songs, videos, quotes, or posts about lovesickness.

Or your Facebook feed is like a meadow of mourning.

Doesn't matter:

You can and should mourn.

But leave your emotions where they belong: with you.

Get support from your friends or relatives. But Facebook and Co are not a platform to get sympathy.

Reason #4: Your ex is angry and punishes you

Was the separation very emotional and associated with a roller coaster ride of emotions? Did it range from tears to anger and shouting names at each other?

Things like that tend to escalate, maybe your ex said something, then you say something, and then the ex does it again. And finally, you overreacted and say things you don't mean.

Then the mind is too often logged off, and the inner child takes over the command.

Because anger is a very strong emotion, and you often do things because of it that you regret later.

Your ex is angry and punishes you

So maybe your ex is ignoring you to teach you a lesson or to punish you because they are angry with you.

And with every message you write, your ex can get a little more "revenge" if they don't reply.

There are plenty of forums out there with a lot more geeky tips. Your ex may have read somewhere that this is one way they should behave now.

Is your ex trying to make you jealous?

Something like this can also be expressed in the fact that your ex tries to make you jealous.

Maybe through pictures on Facebook where your ex puts his tongue in his new lover's mouth.

Or by your ex telling all mutual friends that life is much nicer without you.

If something like this happens, don't take it personally right now. As I said: Emotions are taking over at the moment, and you quickly do things you don't mean.

And I'm sure your ex doesn't mean to hurt you on purpose but is acting a bit emotional now in the heat of the moment.

What you should do

Your strategy here is clear:

Wait until your ex's emotions subside. You ignore your ex's “back” and don’t contact them anymore.

(I describe exactly how you do this at the end of this article.)

Don't jump into it and try to teach your ex a lesson or make them jealous.

Because then you only spoil everything, add fuel to the fire, and everything builds up until the last feelings for each other have disappeared.

If you don't get into it, your ex will lose motivation for such games relatively quickly!

Reason #5: Your ex wants to signal that you are separated

If you don't want to admit the breakup yourself, you often act as if you were still in the relationship.

The result:

You still text a lot and keep in touch with your ex. Act like everything is still the same.

In such a case, your ex ignores you to show you that the breakup happened.

Your ex signals to you that the breakup has happened and that you can't text each other as in the past because of this.

Keep this in mind especially if your breakup happened very suddenly - it should be fully completed first before you can get closer again!

Your ex wants to signal that you are separated

What you gotta do

Again, the strategy to be used is similar to before:

Make contact and wait. Focus on yourself and your goals and become the most attractive version of yourself.

In such a case, your ex will often get back to you on his own.

Because your ex notices that you are no longer the same person as when you separated.

You're signaling to your ex, so to speak, "Hey, look, I'm changing and evolving!"

It removes your ex's biggest fear of getting back together - that a second relationship between you would fail again.

This is exactly why we always recommend that you become the best version of yourself.

Reason #6: Your ex wants to get over you

So now it's going to be difficult for you, and you won't want to hear what I'm about to say.

Maybe your ex is also ignoring you because they want to get over you and cope with the breakup.

Because the fastest way to get over a relationship breakup is to create an emotional and physical distance from the ex.

So your ex ignores you to create this distance.

Or your ex doesn't want to give you false hope by constantly being in contact with you or by texting you.

Does that apply to you?

It is also very important for your well-being that you find out if this is the case.

Rely on your heart here. What do your feelings tell you? Does it seem like your ex never wants you back in their life?

If so, then please don't hate your ex for it. Respect their decision and feelings. In such a case I recommend you do this:

Then what should you do?

If your ex decides to go on without you, then you have to accept that.

You can of course still attempt to win your ex back. But get ready now that you will almost certainly fail.

Therefore my recommendation:

Focus on yourself, letting your ex go and dealing with the breakup on your own, and becoming the best version of yourself.

Reason #7: Your ex blocks contact with themselves

This reason is relatively rare, so I will only cover it briefly.

Because maybe your ex wants you back and has read that you should initiate a contact ban.

But, as I said, this case is relatively rare. Nevertheless, you know relatively well what to do:

Wait for the contact block, and if your ex contacts you again after 30 days, then you know they have also blocked contact :).

Your plan when your ex ignores you

If your ex is ignoring you, then your biggest goal is to make them think of you again.

But (and this is quite important):

You must do this CASUALLY and UNNOTICELY!

You must act at the right time, not too early and not too late.

This is similar to tennis:

If you hit it blindly, a lot of balls will land outside. But if you're patient, you'll hit the winning shot, which will also bring you the points.

Often just one positive interaction is enough to show your ex that you've changed and that you're a lot of fun to be with.

So your strategy is the following:

Get out of the picture for a while. (Do a no contact.)
Reconnect with your ex (preferably with text messages).

I'll describe these two steps in a bit more detail in a moment, but before that, let me reiterate (because it's extremely important):

If you have been texting a lot or calling all the time, stop now!

Step #1: Initiative and persevere with no contact

The principle is simple:

Your ex ignores you.

You ignore your ex back.

And for at least 30 days (= contact ban).

Locking down cools emotions and makes you seem less desperate. Most of the time, this solves many problems on its own.

For example, on our Love Board, we have some success stories where lockdown has worked brilliantly and been the key to success.

Winning your ex back is like playing chess:

If someone makes a move, then the other has to react correctly.

Take your steps wisely

Your ex has now made a move to ignore you. Of course, you could now write 49 messages and burn all your figures.

But then at some point, you are checkmated and have not won anything, and your ex is never coming back.

Or you position your characters cleverly and launch a counterattack at the right time by contacting your ex with the right SMS:

Step #2: Text your ex the right way

First, to reassure you:

It's not very often that your ex will NEVER contact you or text you back.

Usually, when the emotions have subsided and your ex can think more clearly, they are ready for more contact again.

The question is also here:

Until then, can you manage without doing too much nonsense, like constantly texting or calling your ex?

So it's all about reconnecting with your ex.

And in the right way.

However, it's not about getting any response from your ex. Unfortunately, it's not that easy.

Instead, you want a positive response to get you back in the game. So for example, something like this:
Your ex answer

Wow, thanks…

... that you have read up to here.

Then I wish you much success.

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