But you would like to drive away certain thoughts such as: "I hate my ex", which take possession of your mind regularly.
Feeling such negative emotions toward a person you loved passionately is harmful to your well-being and your sentimental reconstruction.
Even if the person may have behaved disrespectfully towards you, or they may have cheated on you, lied to you, or simply failed to measure up, you must take control and make this obscure thought that ruin your life disappear.
"I hate my ex", I'm so mad at them". The pain of separation sometimes creates this kind of situation, yet you must learn to get rid of negative feelings to find joy in everyday life.
Find out how harboring a feeling of hatred towards someone can have negative effects on your life, and let yourself be guided through our 12 tips to regain control of your emotions and move on.
"I Hate My Ex" – The 12 best things you can do
If you hate your ex and you can't manage to appease this feeling, discover these 12 ways to get over the breakup and forget about your ex!
1. Get answers, and find the flaw that led to the breakup.
To get out of it, you must first seek answers to what keeps you in this state of anger and vexation. Being mad at your ex is often a good way to not take stock of your relationship and your problems. It is by taking the time to reflect on its various points that you can begin to turn the page.
If your ex cheated on you: find out with whom and why.
If he treated you in a negligible way, try to discover the origin of it.
Finding the loophole allows your brain to understand the reasons for your anger, and thus release some of your hatred.
Sure, it can be difficult and hurtful to know the answers to these questions, but it's the first step to figuring out your level of grudges and how much you hate your ex.
2. Discover your true emotions.
Sometimes some people prefer to maintain this feeling of hatred towards a specific person, rather than dealing with other emotions, it is a kind of unconscious protection that is unhealthy for your mind and health.
3. Recognize that your hatred is harmful to you.
You have already experienced the harmful effects of this feeling of hatred, but as soon as this emotion reaches you personally, it is hard to see all the red flags going on around you.
Remember that when you hate someone, you are probably hurting them, but above all, you are hurting yourself too. Resentment towards your ex creates deeper consequences that can be a major obstacle to your development.
4. Get advice from your loved ones.
Your friends and family are there to help you through difficult times.
It is the essential role of your close entourage to help you find the keys to solving your problems and being happy in your life.
Confide in your friends and family. Open up to them, and tell them what's going on and how you feel.
Your loved ones may have a reasonable point of view that could accompany you in the appeasement you need.
5. Be angry at the real reasons for your situation.
It's really easy to hate someone rather than hate a situation because at least there's someone taking responsibility.One thing a lot of people do is direct their hate at someone else when it's the facts they hate, not the person.
Look deep within and be honest with yourself. Do you hate your ex, or is it the situation you hate? This huge difference completely reduces the way you feel about your ex, and it makes it easier to dismiss that feeling of hatred toward them.
6. Practice calming mechanisms.
Hatred can make a person do crazy things if left unchecked.
If you can't stop hating your ex and acting silly and unhealthy around them, put some self-soothing mechanisms in place.
Try deep breathing, meditation, or even use a stress ball. Anything that will keep you from making a scene or going so crazy that you'll do something you'll regret is good to put in place.
7. Keep your distance from your ex.
If you hate your ex, you need to stay away from them! It seems so simple! If you keep your ex away from you, you'll find that your hatred will lessen over time, since you won't be constantly reminded of the person and the bad memories that go with it that you hate so much.
If you are used to going to the same places, avoid going there for a while, it's not about avoiding your ex for life, it's about keeping them away for a while until your feeling of hatred subsides enough to be able to meet them again without stirring up this negative emotion.
8. Don't tell anyone about them.
Talking about your ex will only succeed in fueling the rage bubbling inside you!
You will need to talk about your feelings and emotions with those close to you but try to avoid talking about them as often as possible; and you will find that your anger towards them will eventually fade, rather than be rekindled every time.
9. Realize that you can see things from another side.
Put yourself in your ex's shoes and see if there could have been some extenuating circumstances to understand their behavior.
Be a little empathetic and think about how they must feel about what happened. It will help you cope and even get rid of the hatred you feel for them.
10. Forgive your ex.
Forgiveness is a very effective tool to use if you hate your ex. No matter what they may have done, no matter how terrible their deeds or words may have been, forgive them.
Holding on to a feeling of hate that hurts you is simply not healthy. Forgive them and keep moving forward, so you can be happy once again in your life.
11. Apologize honestly.
When we feel a feeling of hatred towards someone, we are led to argue and say very hurtful things to each other.
Take the plunge, and apologize to your ex!
This will allow you to gauge how angry you are and heal as well.
Go to see your ex and apologize for everything that was said or done, you will be surprised to feel immediately released.
12. Seek professional help.
You probably won't be able to overcome your feelings of hatred on your own. There are professionals dedicated to these delicate situations, they can help you overcome such feelings to find yourself and feel free and happy again.
If your hatred takes over your daily life and you feel the harmful effects on your life, do not hesitate to speak to a professional, he will guide you to regain your serenity. It can be normal to have feelings of hate towards your ex simply because they were someone you loved deeply, and now you have to distance yourself and start a new life without them. Easing tensions with your ex is a decisive first step in the process of rebuilding yourself after the breakup.
But if your hate snowballs out of control, you'll need all these tips on how to deal with this devastating emotion.