The sight startles you, and you wonder if this is his new flame. Your relationship is over, of course, you know that, but it still feels pretty bad. How can your ex find new love so quickly!?
Accepting your ex's new relationship can be incredibly difficult, especially if you still have feelings for your ex. Then you get stuck in the past, leading to obsessive thoughts.
Luckily, there are some steps you can take to ensure that this situation doesn't wholly devastate you and that you can even come out of it stronger.
In this article, you will learn the best thing to do if your ex has a new girlfriend immediately.
Help, my ex has a new girlfriend, what should I do?
How many times have you promised your ex to put the past behind you and stop thinking about the ex?
Research has shown that over 75% of adults have spied on their ex-partners via social media. Worst of all, it only leads to more grief. Does that sound familiar to you?
Subconsciously, we often think about an old relationship. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do about it. We see an old photo again or visit a place that brings back old memories. Forgetting and letting go of your ex is easier said than done, especially when the ex already has a new girlfriend.
You then subconsciously think 'He's mine after all," even though you realize you're not even a couple anymore. Somewhere where you secretly hope that sooner or later your ex will break up with his new love and be with you again.
You also know deep down that you cannot continue to live with this insecurity. If you are still stuck with your ex, you will be denying yourself the ability to find a new partner.
So what's the best thing to do when your ex has a new girlfriend? The following tips will help you.
Tip #1: Ex has a new girlfriend immediately - A new relationship is not always better
Most of the time, when we see our ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend with new love, it's hard for us because it makes us feel so bad. It's as if the ex-boyfriend happily moves on with life, leaving us with an emotional world shattered.
One wonders why the ex is suddenly so happy. Is the new girl that much better than you? But such thoughts should be suppressed quickly. The girl who entered your ex's life is no more attractive, beautiful, or intelligent than you.
In most cases, this is most likely just an impulsive reaction to the loss of intimacy you had with your ex. Do you feel the emptiness now that your relationship is over? Your ex will probably feel the same way and will try to fill that void with someone else as soon as possible.
It's easy to be tempted to think that this new relationship could erase everything good that you experienced with your ex, especially if the breakup is very recent. But your ex's new relationship doesn't make you a loser. No one is just that replaceable, not even you! Your relationship with your ex was unique and something special, and no one will be able to change that.
After a while, if your ex realizes that he's jumped into something new too quickly or that the new relationship isn't going to work out anyway, he'll end the relationship quickly. How you fit into the picture will depend on how you handle the situation.
You can 'unfriend' your ex on Facebook or Instagram and in the meantime work on yourself and only focus on things that you can control.
Block your ex on everything if you can't stop thinking about them or their new flame. Otherwise, you will have no chance of ever getting your ex out of your head.
A welcome side effect, if you're keen to win your ex back, is that your ex might rediscover aspects of you that will attract them if you enjoy your 'free life' to the fullest and have a good time.
And while you certainly don't want him back, dating other people is always an effective way to get your ex out of your head. Then you don't have to worry about whether you want your ex back or forget them for good.
In most cases, it will become clear fairly quickly whether the ex is 'just' in a rebound relationship or not. However, don't make the mistake of constantly looking for signs that it's a rebound relationship. If you aren't sure if your ex is in a rebound relationship, think of it as a normal relationship.
Unfortunately, if your ex decides to sleep with someone else, you can't avoid it. Of course, I know it's not a good idea to know your ex is in bed with someone else.
However, if he has decided to have sex with someone else, you should realize that he is not doing anything wrong. Your relationship is over after all, so your ex isn't cheating on you with anyone.
If your ex enters into such a relationship, you could do the same to compensate for your loss of intimacy as well. However, you should be careful with this and realize that it is probably only a temporary condition.
And if you didn't break up amicably, the whole thing can also be counterproductive, because your new temporary relationship will also drive another wedge between you. So you should be aware of that. The reason why I still mention this tip here is that such a relationship can also help you get your ex back faster.
If you show that you left your relationship behind as well, your ex may be quicker to realize what he wants out of your old relationship, and he might be quicker to get back in touch with you.
But I repeat once again that you should be careful with this because, on the contrary, it can also lead to the fact that your ex turning away from you completely. So you have to be able to assess your ex very well and then act accordingly.
It's easy to be tempted to think that this new relationship could erase everything good that you experienced with your ex, especially if the breakup is very recent. But your ex's new relationship doesn't make you a loser. No one is just that replaceable, not even you! Your relationship with your ex was unique and something special, and no one will be able to change that.
After a while, if your ex realizes that he's jumped into something new too quickly or that the new relationship isn't going to work out anyway, he'll end the relationship quickly. How you fit into the picture will depend on how you handle the situation.
Tip #2: Be patient and respectful
When our ex-boyfriend starts a new relationship, we often feel depressed and hurt because we didn't expect it to happen so quickly.
The crazy thing is, it doesn't matter which one ended the relationship. It hurts even though you were the one who wanted to break up. It is important to remember that people handle broken relationships in different ways. One recovers from lovesickness faster than the other. The best thing to do now is to focus on yourself.
The secret is to think more positively and adopt a more active lifestyle. Do things that make you happy and live at your own pace.
The last thing - I repeat, the last - is to scold your new ex and annoy his new girl is rash and stupid behavior. This will make things much worse. Even if you don't want your ex back, it's always best to wait until things cool down a bit.
If your ex is dating someone else, there is a good chance you will feel a sense of panic. Then there is a high probability that you will make stupid mistakes that only increase the distance to your ex. You should be aware of that, so it's better not to do anything stupid out of an impulsive moment.
If you try to convince your ex how bad his new girl is for him, you'll only pull him further away from you and drive him straight into the new girl's arms. You shouldn't try to convince your ex to leave their new girlfriend again.
As mentioned earlier, things just take a little time to get back to normal, and during that time both you and your ex are more apt to make impulsive and ill-considered decisions.
Therefore, wait a few weeks and make sure that you don't spend too much time spying on your ex and his new girlfriend during this period.
Then, if you discover that both of you still have feelings for each other and realize that he may have ended his relationship with her in a hurry, you can calmly reconnect gradually.
Tip #3: "My ex has a new girlfriend" - Think about what's best for you
A common mistake people make is thinking about their ex and their new relationship far too often. They also make decisions in which these considerations play a major role. For example, they may not go to a friend's party because they fear their ex and their new partner might be there as well.
They then forget that it is a celebration of a good friend whom they may have known for many years. By not going there to avoid the ex, they also irritate third parties and damage their image. That's why any decision you make that involves your ex should always be about what's good for you.
During this time, you should also make as much time for yourself as possible. Be a real bachelor and live it. Do things your ex never wanted to do, but you did. Go out and meet up with friends. Just thinking about your ex all the time is the opposite of what you should be doing.
There is absolutely no point in worrying about something you can't control. Of course, we can't just stop our feelings like that, but at some point, we have to realize that we're wasting our energy and time on something that isn't worth it.
You can 'unfriend' your ex on Facebook or Instagram and in the meantime work on yourself and only focus on things that you can control.
Block your ex on everything if you can't stop thinking about them or their new flame. Otherwise, you will have no chance of ever getting your ex out of your head.
A welcome side effect, if you're keen to win your ex back, is that your ex might rediscover aspects of you that will attract them if you enjoy your 'free life' to the fullest and have a good time.
And while you certainly don't want him back, dating other people is always an effective way to get your ex out of your head. Then you don't have to worry about whether you want your ex back or forget them for good.
Tip #4: Ex immediately has a new girlfriend – work on yourself
You feel like you've lost your ex for good. You lost your best friend, so don't expect to feel great suddenly. On the contrary, you will feel pretty bad, and that's very understandable. Accept your sorrow and let the emotions run free.
Lovesickness is heavy and painful. Accept that. It will get better with time. And as hard as it may seem, try to put your grief away by doing positive and constructive things.
Even if you have a lot of patience and can talk to each other normally again, it's not a good idea to think that you can influence your ex's decisions. Therefore, you should not interfere or try to persuade him to end the new relationship.
Your ex will have to come to this realization on their own. On the contrary, if you try to impress, you will only embarrass yourself.
You won't be able to override your ex's feelings with rational arguments. That's just not how being in love works. You will only be perceived as desperate and lose everything that you may have already regained.
Use the time to make yourself a better you. Just recovering from lovesickness will not be enough to get your ex back. You must also become a better person yourself.
Some things to work on if you want to win your ex back:
- Confidence: The most attractive quality one can possess. Luckily, confidence is something you can learn.
The easiest way is, to be honest with yourself and with others. Do not hide your feelings, feel free to show your shame and fear! Set yourself new goals and do what you love to do.
- Physical Attractiveness: Exercising is a great way to feel better and build more confidence.
Your ex has already been attracted to your looks before, so don't worry about that. Maybe you haven't exercised enough in the last few years. Have you possibly put on a bit of bacon? Then work on it. Go to the gym and get going! You can also free your head wonderfully.
Tip #5: Start a new romance yourself
This tip can be used by those who would like to get their ex back, but also by those who would start over from scratch. As already mentioned, a relationship soon after the end of the last one is usually only a substitute for the sudden lack of emotional or physical (sexual) affection. Such a relationship is also referred to as a 'rebound relationship'.In most cases, it will become clear fairly quickly whether the ex is 'just' in a rebound relationship or not. However, don't make the mistake of constantly looking for signs that it's a rebound relationship. If you aren't sure if your ex is in a rebound relationship, think of it as a normal relationship.
Unfortunately, if your ex decides to sleep with someone else, you can't avoid it. Of course, I know it's not a good idea to know your ex is in bed with someone else.
However, if he has decided to have sex with someone else, you should realize that he is not doing anything wrong. Your relationship is over after all, so your ex isn't cheating on you with anyone.
If your ex enters into such a relationship, you could do the same to compensate for your loss of intimacy as well. However, you should be careful with this and realize that it is probably only a temporary condition.
And if you didn't break up amicably, the whole thing can also be counterproductive, because your new temporary relationship will also drive another wedge between you. So you should be aware of that. The reason why I still mention this tip here is that such a relationship can also help you get your ex back faster.
If you show that you left your relationship behind as well, your ex may be quicker to realize what he wants out of your old relationship, and he might be quicker to get back in touch with you.
But I repeat once again that you should be careful with this because, on the contrary, it can also lead to the fact that your ex turning away from you completely. So you have to be able to assess your ex very well and then act accordingly.
Tip #6: Ex has a new girlfriend, now what - Be realistic and don't seek revenge
From reading what has just been written, you might conclude that this new relationship is dead wrong, that your ex is dead wrong, and that it would be best for things to go back to how they were. But that's not the case, which is why this tip here is so important.Many people develop a veritable vendetta against their ex's new partner, all while waiting for the relationship to end. Not only for the reason to have another chance with the ex but often for the reason that this "fake" relationship ends. Now let's be honest...come on, your ex is only human. You better be happy for him that he has found joy in life again with a new girlfriend.
A negative attitude will do absolutely nothing, it will only make you feel bad, and your ex may ignore you. So you better be happy for him, and you will find that you feel better about yourself too. Unless this new relationship is the only one making you jealous. In such a case, you should completely ignore the whole thing. But honestly, such planned relationships are very rare, I mean rare.
So these will be the top tips that will get you back on your feet. It is also important not to exaggerate the whole situation unnecessarily. After all, it's just about some romance, that's not bad, right?
You will find that things get better between you after a while, provided that you follow these tips and give up with a deep hatred (hate). Anyway, keep these valuable tips in mind and be reasonable, and in most cases, you will be fine.