On the one hand, you shouldn't put up with his behavior, but you still feel guilty in a certain way.
To better understand your current situation, you have to step back a bit:
- You broke up with your boyfriend during an argument, and there was no honest discussion, so there is still a lot that is unclear between you.
- You still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend, he is deeply hurt himself and instead of seeking a conversation with you, he tries to appear calm by being mean to you.
You should keep your distance from him for now, because in the current situation, he will not be willing to take your feelings into account. This is important if you want to get back together with him or have normal interactions with him after things have calmed down between you.
No matter why your ex-boyfriend is being mean to you, he still seems to have feelings for you. Even if he's acting weird at the moment, you shouldn't give up hope so easily and fight for him.
Why is he acting like an idiot?
Most men have a hard time coping with a breakup, no matter how confident they appear to be. It can be his way of dealing with the pain and disappointment after the end of your relationship. However, that should not excuse his behavior!
You start blaming yourself and wondering what you did to deserve him being so mean to you. All you want is for him to stop blaming you for your breakup since you both contributed to it.
What could be the reason for his behavior?
Many are overwhelmed after a breakup because their whole life suddenly changes, and a certain emptiness arises.
- He wants to show with his behavior how unhappy he was at the end of your relationship.
- He wants to blame you to distract you from his own mistakes.
- Unable to control his emotions, he expresses his frustration.
- He wants to hide his true feelings for you by being so mean to you, otherwise, he would have to admit your importance to him.
- He tries to make himself look better and artificially boost his hurt self-esteem.
It's not uncommon for two people to vent all of their pent-up energy after a breakup by acting like idiots. Some women also have a hard time dealing with division and try to harm their ex-boyfriends.
How do men and women deal with their feelings after a breakup?
Men feel their pride hurt and have never learned to deal with their feelings appropriately. They rarely talk about their feelings with their friends and want to be strong after the breakup.
Women tend to be more open about their feelings, and friends stand by them to prevent them from falling into a deep emotional hole.
In this upset post-breakup state, you can barely reach him, and a conversation will be difficult because he either vents his frustration on you or directly blocks it.
Concentrate on yourself, and you learn to endure this time because sometimes he calms down after a few days and even feels ashamed of his behavior.
Is it normal that I still love him even though he hurt me?
No matter how a man behaves after the breakup, you have experienced a lot with him and built up an emotional bond with him. You invested a lot of energy and did everything to show your love.
Love is the strongest feeling, and if you hate someone it's only because you're disappointed. Who am I to disappoint? Someone you care about, otherwise you wouldn't give a damn about that person.
You feel hopeless after a breakup and an emotional mess ensues that leaves no one completely cold.
- You admit your own mistakes.
- You can see what went wrong and how the two of you could have avoided a breakup.
All this gives hope, but you can't just turn back time.
Now it's up to you to deal with your feelings and insights properly. Do you think you will never be able to get back together, or do you have a desire to try it again with him?
Does he only act like an idiot after the breakup?
He's acting like an idiot right now, but you know just how he can be. How loving, considerate, and sweet he usually is, just like when you were happily newly in love.
What would you give to have him with you again without all the misunderstandings and stress that's going on between the two of you right now?
You'll have to learn to control your emotions and stay calm until you see that he's starting to calm down and recognize his mistakes. Encouraging him by acting exactly like an idiot towards him will only separate you further.
What can you do to get closer to him again?
The best way to know what to do is to ask yourself the right questions because that's the only way you can be sure you're doing the right thing.
- Is there a way to avoid arguments with your ex-boyfriend by blocking contact?
- What would you say to him if you could tell him one thing?
- How do you control your negative emotions and stay positive without letting him get you down too much?
You have to know precisely what you want before you face him and be able to forgive him for his behavior. You won't achieve much with him with accusations or exaggerated declarations of love, so you have to clarify for yourself what you promise yourself in the future.
How do I stay positive even when my ex is so mean to me?
The first step is to ask you the right questions will bring you more clarity in dealing with him and your future with him.
- What would go better next time from the start?
- How do you make it clear to him that you only want the best for both of you and how can you become a team again?
Focus on the future instead of trying to solve every issue from the past with him. Otherwise, you're just going around in circles, reopening old wounds and getting caught up in insignificant little things.
The only thing you can influence is your focus and your inner attitude.
If you act problem-oriented and pessimistic, you will always find new problems. On the other hand, if you are optimistic and solution-oriented, you suddenly stop seeing your current situation as hopeless.
Take care of yourself and be the woman he will never leave, who charms him with her flattering nature, even when things seem difficult.
Your ex will eventually see that there is no point in being mean to you and acting like an idiot when he sees you moving on with your life and he's no longer a part of it.
Why is my ex so mean to me?
Of course, this can have various reasons, but in most cases, it is his injured ego. He is angry, frustrated, and dissatisfied with himself, or else he would be at least neutral towards you.
Instead of trying to strike up a conversation with him, give him time to calm down because there's no point in asking him in this state why he's being so mean to you.
He primarily annoys you with his behavior, but at some point, those around him will also tell him that it is inappropriate to behave childishly toward you. Even if you have made mistakes, you don't have to blame yourself forever.
At some point, he will see for himself how unfair he is acting and that it makes no sense to act like a fool instead of closing with the past and looking forward.