You don't know if dating her is a good idea because you're not sure if you're ready to see her again. The breakup hit you hard, and you thought it was over forever between you, although inside, you always hoped that she would get in touch with you.
You may also wonder if the meeting could mean she's starting to have romantic feelings for you again or if it's just friendship.
Sometimes a woman realizes after a few days how much she misses her ex-boyfriend and regrets the breakup.
Others, on the other hand, don't want to lose you as a person in their life because they still like you very much despite the breakup.
In this article, I will give you some considerations that might help you decide whether you should accept the meeting or not.
Ex-girlfriend Wants to Meet Up - 14 Best Things to Do
Before you meet her, you should read this list carefully to find the best decision for you:
1. Reflect on your feelings
Before you make a decision, you should be clear about how you feel:
- Do you still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend?
- Do you want a friendship or a romantic relationship with her?
- Or would you rather not see her at all because she hurt you a lot?
Be honest with yourself and reflect on your feelings because that decides whether it makes sense to meet her immediately, to wait a little longer, or to break off contact completely.
You should be 100% honest with yourself at this point, and nobody can take that away from you. Only you know your true feelings.
2. Think about the reasons for the meeting
What your ex-girlfriend's intentions for the meeting is another important point to think about.
- Is she looking for your attention and validation?
- Is she interested in an honest discussion and ready for a fresh start?
- Does she just want to be friends, or maybe she still has feelings for you?
Maybe she wants to ask you for advice and doesn't have anyone else who knows her as well as you. You must find out why she wants to meet before you make a decision.
Try to guess as logically as possible the reason why she contacted you, this will be very revealing what you can expect from her in the future.
3. Consider the possible consequences
Be aware of the possible consequences before accepting the meeting. Seeing each other again after the breakup is very emotional:
- Could the meeting rekindle old feelings?
- Or could it take a toll on you emotionally if you date her?
Answer these questions for yourself, and try not to sugarcoat yourself. It's also perfectly fine if you don't feel ready and need a few more days to think about it before you give her an answer.
4. Think about your goals
Meeting just because it feels right at first is wrong. You should already know what should ideally happen after your meeting:
- What do you expect from the meeting?
- Do you only want to talk about the past, or do you want to see if a romantic relationship is possible again?
As in other areas of life, it is an advantage to know the goal. This will help you better prepare yourself mentally and steer the conversation in the direction you want.
5. Counsel with friends or family
It can be helpful to talk to friends or family members to get their opinions. They can give you a different perspective and help you make a decision.
However, the final choice is always up to you what you think is right, and no one else is responsible for it!
6. Consider whether enough time has passed
How long has it been since you broke up? If it was recent, dating her might be difficult. However, if it's been a while, you might be in a better emotional position.
A few days after the breakup can work wonders in many cases. Especially when the breakup happened because of one argument that got out of control.
Even a few weeks in which you have a contact ban are better to find each other again. Both of you take the time you need to calm your emotional chaos, and then you meet, this prevents unnecessary escalation.
7. Would you be ready for "just" friendship?
If you still have feelings for her and she just wants friendship, the meeting might be difficult for you emotionally. If your side is love and she only wants contact with you on a friendly level, then you will suffer greatly from it in the long run.
Most women are more in need of harmony, and this includes ex-boyfriends. If you have a hunch that she's only doing the meeting for herself to clear her conscience, consider agreeing to it.
Of course, it's always best if you can get along well after the breakup, but you may not be ready to see her without falling into a deep emotional hole.
8. Be ready for different scenarios
Maybe the meeting will go well, and you can remain friends or even resume a romantic relationship. Or maybe things are going badly, and you realize you're not ready to see her again.
Nothing can be planned, and that is why you should be prepared for different possibilities and not agree to a meeting with rose-tinted glasses in which you will be disappointed again.
9. Think of it as a one-time meeting
If you decide to meet up with your ex-girlfriend, you should consider taking a break afterward. This gives you time to think about the meeting and decide what you want to do next.
Instead of immediately cranking it up and texting forever after meeting, dating, and pretending you never broke up — take it easy!
10. Set clear boundaries
Set clear boundaries before accepting the meeting. If you just want friendship, you should make that clear. If you're not ready for a romantic relationship, make that clear as well.
If you want to win her back, then it doesn't matter. You can't meet her and demand that she give you another chance.
11. Avoid old conflicts
You should avoid addressing issues that you have already resolved. Meeting her shouldn't be an interrogation or a drama where you blame each other.
Focus on having positive conversations and avoiding negative feelings or arguments, so there is a greater chance that you will meet again and slowly find your way together.
12. Listen to your gut
Your gut feeling will often tell you whether or not a meeting is a good idea. If you feel good, you should allow the meeting. However, if you feel uncomfortable, you may want to cancel the meeting.
13. Be open to new opportunities
We often block ourselves with excessive expectations or impatience. If you're able to wait and see the meeting as the first step towards getting closer, then that's probably the best attitude.
Perhaps the meeting will lead to a friendship or a romantic relationship better than your previous relationship. Or you realize that there is no point in staying in contact with your ex-girlfriend because you have developed in completely different directions.
No matter what comes of meeting your ex, it will give you new insights and new options for what you can do in the future to either win her back, be friends, or cut ties.
14. You decide and bear every consequence of your decision
If you decide not to meet and want to focus on your future, that's perfectly fine. But then you can't know afterward what would have happened if you had met her.
If you decide to meet up, make the best of it and see what comes up:
Even if that was your last meeting, at least you have clarity, and you can close things with her.
If you feel that you still have a lot in common and that you both realize that the separation was a mistake, then do everything you can to revive your love.
Conclusion
Consider whether you're willing to take the risk that it might be over for good, or whether you'd rather keep your distance. It's important to pay attention to your feelings and make a decision that's best for you.
If you decide to meet up with your ex-girlfriend, be ready for different scenarios, set clear boundaries, and avoid blaming each other and ending up fighting.
Be confident and listen to your gut feeling. Whatever decision you make, respect it and focus on your future.