Why Do I Miss My Toxic Ex? 15 Common Reasons

Why do I miss my toxic ex? I know you asked this question before and are seeking an answer.

At the beginning of this article, I would like to reassure you that it is normal to miss your toxic ex because simply abusive relationships, even months or years after their end, leave behind many bad feelings and emotions such as sadness, confusion, loneliness, and disappointment, which are difficult to overcome and they negatively affect your daily life.

So, in this article, you will discover the top reasons why you think about your toxic ex so much and miss them and how you can stop that and start a new, more trusting relationship.

Why Do I Miss My Toxic Ex? 15 Common Reasons

Why do I miss my toxic ex? 

1. You are still following them on social media

One of the sure reasons why you miss your toxic ex is because you still follow them on social media, and you see their photos and posts every day on Instagram, Tiktok, or Facebook.

And despite the end of the relationship, your curiosity makes you cling to the search for signs that the separation has affected them, and they regret your loss or that they are thinking about you and want to get back together. 

Unfortunately, this is wrong behavior. After all the pain and suffering that this toxic relationship caused you, you should stop following them, that is, block them permanently on all social media platforms. This is an essential step if you want to stop missing them.

Because if you don't, you will still remember all those bad memories every time you see their posts on social media.

2. You are not used to being alone

Loneliness is hard, especially if you don't have friends or if you don't have recreational activities to fill your free time.

You used to spend most of your time with them, they used to give you some attention even if it was fake and fill your day, but since the breakup, you found yourself alone and felt a huge void you couldn't fill.

So instead of thinking about someone who doesn't deserve your attention, focus on yourself and give her the happiness and comfort they deserve. You can have fun with your friends or take up hobbies you didn't have time for.

3. They weren't completely bad

Your toxic ex was a brilliant actress, so they never showed you their bad qualities or malicious intentions at the beginning of the relationship until you found out for yourself after all their masks fell off.

And though they hurt you and played with your feelings until you realized that your relationship was toxic, it should not be denied that they had some good qualities that sometimes made you feel happy.

Even if it wasn't real, those qualities made you fall in love with them, and now you miss them so much.

So this should not make you feel guilty and that you did not make the right decision when you broke up with them. On the contrary, you saved yourself, and it is time to forget about them and start a new adventure with more experience. 

4. You're still lying to yourself

Woman miss someone

Another reason why you keep missing your toxic ex is you're still holding on to false hope and waiting for them to feel remorse for you and give you any sign that they want you back.

This illusion you're living in prevents you from seeing reality and moving on, so you have to believe that this relationship will never work.

Even if they treated you with romance and kindness before or after the relationship, this does not negate the fact that they are a toxic person and were always deceiving you. 

Also, remember the bad qualities they had, which will assure you that they are a person who does not deserve your attention, and your relationship with them will not have a future.

5. They made you lose your self-esteem

Since the breakup, you have come to believe that you'd never find love again and that no woman will be attracted to you, and this is because of the damage your toxic ex caused to your self-esteem.

When you lose your self-esteem, it's easy to think that you'll be single forever, that no woman will ever want you, and that's what makes you miss your abusive ex for fear of being rejected by other women.

So the time has come for you to improve your self-esteem, to discover your strengths, to look at yourself in the mirror and say that you deserve love and respect, and all that cruelty shown by your ex does not reflect your personality, but rather you are much better than that.

6. You did not throw away your ex's gifts

Toxic people usually use gifts to manipulate their victims. A seemingly simple gift with some sweet talk can make some people fall in love with them. They know their victims' weaknesses well.

If you wonder: Why do I miss my toxic ex? You miss your toxic ex because you still keep the gifts he gave you that remind you of them whenever you see them.

So now you know what you should do, get rid of these gifts that express lies and fake feelings. This will help you to stop missing your toxic ex and erase bad memories.

7. You feel guilty

A man looks out the window and feels remorse

You may feel guilty and ask many questions: what if I didn't do that? What if I acted this way? What if I didn't say that word before the breakup? 

Despite the emotional damage they caused you, you start blaming yourself and feel remorse for doing things that you probably shouldn't regret and see ending the relationship as a hasty decision and that you could have done many things to save the relationship.

Just think of the cruel things your ex said, and you'll be sure that breaking up with them was the best end to this toxic relationship.

8. You have lost confidence in yourself

You miss your ex because you have lost confidence in yourself and do not know how to continue your path without them. You are used to having someone by your side who gives you a feeling of reassurance and security, but now you are alone, and you miss them very much.

The toxic relationship destroyed your confidence and lowered your self-esteem because you were abused and disrespected throughout the relationship, and you used to get validation from your ex.

To regain your self-confidence, you need the courage to try new things you are afraid of trying alone. For example, if you are used to traveling with your ex, try traveling alone. This will prove to you that you can go on adventures and discover new people and places on your own without needing someone to be beside you.

9. You couldn't erase the memories

Burn a memorial photo

Despite the painful memories left by your abusive relationship, which evoke feelings of sadness and disappointment in your mind, you will not be able to forget those beautiful moments and happy memories that, even if they seem short, will remain entrenched in your memory.

All these happy memories like the new places you have visited, the hobbies you used to do together, the funny situations between you, and the first moments you fell in love with them. All these memories evoke in your feelings of longing and nostalgia and make you miss your toxic ex.

Is that all? Of course not. These happy memories, despite their existence, should not make you forget the other face of your ex and how they manipulated you. So do not let these memories deceive you, and look at your real life where you will find people who love you and can give you true happiness.

10. You still talk to them

If you are trying to move on after going through an abusive relationship, but at the same time you are still in contact with your ex, then this is a big mistake.

In this way, you prove that your ex was right when they abused you and that you became submissive to them as long as you did not cut off contact with them, and they may abuse more if given the opportunity.

Cut off contact with them immediately, and if you are still following them on social media, block them. Let them know that you respect yourself and do not accept being abused and that your relationship is over forever. 

11. You became obsessed with them

You have passed the stage of love into obsession, and this can be explained by the fact that you were spending a lot of time with them and doing your best to make them happy, and this is what a toxic relationship can do to you, making you obsessed with your ex.

You do not miss them as much as you long to please them and try to make them happy. You are used to taking responsibility in the relationship and solving their problems to the point that you have made them the center of your life, and satisfying them has become your only source of happiness.

All you have to do is direct this obsession to yourself, which means by taking care of yourself and setting realistic goals in your life, your only focus be achieving them, then you will not find any time to give it to the wrong people.

12. You were dependent on your ex 

If you depended on your ex financially, or they helped you with your studies or work, even though you were in a toxic relationship, then it is natural that you miss them now.

You are missing this support, which you may be in dire need of after separation deprived you of it. Money, social network, and friends are all things that can affect your standard of living when you miss them. 

Although the mission will be difficult, you must compensate for this loss. For example, if you depend on your ex financially, you can start to build a new source of income by learning a new skill online, as you will find on the Internet many articles that can help you with this.

13. You haven't moved on yet

A couple riding a bicycle

Another reason behind "Why do I miss my toxic ex" is that you haven't moved on yet, And you still cling to the past and refuse to accept what happened.

Your ex destroyed your self-confidence and made you see only them despite their toxic character, but you got used to them, and now you are afraid to move on even though you haven't tried yet.

To move on, you must first accept reality and forget the past, then find someone who loves you, cares for you, and treats you respectfully. You can use dating applications like Tinder and Bumble to meet new people. If you don't like online dating, you can meet new people in the places you enjoy going, such as events, art galleries, gyms, private parties, and yoga classes...

14. You did not get closure

You miss your toxic ex because you did not get closure after the breakup, and you still ask yourself many questions and seek to bring back memories to explain the reason for your separation.

The breakup happened suddenly without warning. Events moved so quickly that you lost control of the relationship. Even though it was a toxic relationship, you thought you could fix some things, but you didn't get the chance.

So to get closure after your breakup and stop missing your abusive ex, write down how they badly treated you throughout the relationship and read them out loud. You will be convinced that you have to accept the truth of the end of this toxic relationship and that you shouldn't be together.

15. You haven't changed your lifestyle

You miss your toxic ex because you haven't changed your lifestyle; If you do not accept reality and move forward, nothing will change, you will always come back to the same point, and you will continue to live in a vicious circle.

A toxic relationship is like an addiction, so you will need a lot of determination and patience to overcome its harmful effects and move on. Get up and leave the past behind you. Look at your real life. You will find that you have more important goals that you must achieve.


Thanks to the above reasons about the question "Why do I miss my toxic ex?" You understand now how an abusive relationship destroys your mind and makes you keep missing your toxic ex. So just be brave and move on because you deserve someone much better.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to miss my toxic ex?

It is normal to miss your toxic ex after the breakup. It is important to remember that it is okay to feel these emotions and to take time to heal them. Also, It is necessary to recognize the unhealthy aspects of the relationship, get over the past, and focus on moving on more healthily.

I can't stop thinking about my toxic ex, what should I do to stop thinking about them?

To stop thinking about your toxic ex, It is important to remember that it is okay to think about them, but it is also necessary to take steps to move on and focus on your well-being. Consider talking to a therapist or a trusted friend about your feelings and take time to focus on activities that make you feel good.

Why can't I get over my toxic ex?

It can be challenging to get over your toxic ex because of the emotional attachment formed during the relationship. It is important to remember that the relationship is over, and it is time to move on. It is essential to focus on yourself and your well-being. Take time to reflect on what you learned from the relationship and how you can use that knowledge to make better decisions in the future. It is also helpful to reach out for support from friends and family and to seek professional help if needed.

Why do I want to go back to my toxic ex?

It is important to remember that relationships can be complicated and that it is normal to have feelings of wanting to go back to an ex even if it was toxic. However, it is necessary to recognize that this is not a healthy decision and that it is likely to lead to more pain and hurt in the long run. It is important to take the time to reflect on why you want to go back to your ex and to consider the potential consequences of doing so.

Is it normal I'm in a healthy relationship but miss my toxic ex?

It is completely normal to miss your ex after a breakup, even if the relationship was toxic. To help stop missing your ex, try to focus on the positive aspects of your current relationship. Spend time with your partner doing activities that you both enjoy and make sure to take time for yourself to do things that make you happy. Additionally, try to stay busy and focus on other aspects of your life, such as work, hobbies, or spending time with friends and family. 

Does my toxic ex miss me?

It's hard to know if your toxic ex misses you or not. But some signs can confirm this, for example, if they always text and calls you and also responds to your message quickly, this means that they miss you.

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